Hey guess what it's 5 great things about not wearing makeup for 5 days:
1. You can rub your eyes in comic disbelief and you’re ready to go to a waterpark at a moment’s notice. I wrote that sentence in a way that makes it seem like those two things are related but the only connection is they’re both easier to do without eyeliner.
2. Everyone thinks you’re sick so they don’t make loud noises.
3. You look enough like a child to order from the kids menu, old enough to get senior discounts at movies, enough like a boy to use the men’s bathroom if the line's shorter, and bad enough to be completely invisible. I haven't tested any of these but I have a good feeling about all of them.
4. Beyonce sings about you. There's lots of language in this, the main language is English but there’s also swear words.
5. Now it’s time to think of something to not do next week. I think it’s going to be laundry.